Day 2 - Mom talk

So lets see, quick recap of the day, got dressed, vacuumed, swept, mopped all the floors, scrubbed cabinets and toilets, cleaned off the dressers and nightstands, 2 loads of laundry, grocery store trip, cooked a pot of soup for lunch, and did a stir fry for dinner. But you dont want to hear about the boring stuff so lets move on.

Lets talk about moms shall we? They're where we get our first notions of what a wife and mother are supposed to be. What to do, What not to do, How to act, react and behave... In looking at my mom and his mother and the character of June Cleaver, I noticed a couple common factors. Subservience. Serving and Keeping the husband happy.  Primary caretaker and disciplinarian of the children. But each person has their own style and ways of showing this. So I decided that for the day I was going to be the "Yes, Dear" "whatever you say dear" type wife. I was going to give him 100% of my attention when the children are down or when we had time alone. So today, while I was cooking dinner, he sat in the kitchen with his laptop and did some work.  I saw that I had a text from my friend which said to call her when I got a chance for a funny story.  So of course, I was dying to hear the story and asked Ward if he would mind if I gave her a call back. He stopped typing and looked up at me with a puzzled look on his face and said "no. Why would you even ask that? You sound like mom - asking for permission like that. You don't need my permission. Call her back!"  Now before I go any further, let me say that I am blessed with the most wonderful in laws. My mother in law is a sweet, godly woman and I love her to death but we've noticed that she tends to check with him for practically everything she does- even though he doesn't care and always says "yeah sure- go for it!" So it made me think, where did that behavior come from?  Is that something that she learned from her mother? Or maybe that's her way of serving her husband.  In any case, that's not what Ward expects from me. So here's what I took away from that little convo: LADIES: If men wanted a woman like their mother they wouldn't have married you. Yes, there are qualities that men may admire in their mothers and if it is feasible, you should try to incorporate it somehow. But he married you, for you so be yourself! But be flexible enough to be willing to improve upon yourself. It will keep things interesting. As for me, I am an opinionated, outspoken person, I say whats on my mind most of the time and I've stuck my foot in my mouth on several occasions but that's me and I won't be completely changing that. Its part of the reason he loves me. The "yes, dear" attitude is out the window but I will however try to find other ways to serve him.  Something as simple as plating his food first or bringing him his drink at night.  I remember my mom once told be back in her home country, when food was scarce it was customary for the man to be plated and fed first.  The children were the second to be plated and fed and what was left was for the mother.  The man worked the hardest and brought in the money for food, clothing and shelter so it was important to keep him healthy. And while I admit its a dated view of things, I think its a nice way to show respect.

Moving on in the motherhood category is being a better mom. I'm in a new period of my parenting life. My "baby" is no longer a baby. She is in second grade and her personality is growing by leaps and bounds. Betsy is 7 but acts so much older and she's always been mature for her age so I guess she's more like 7 going on 12. I feel like a fish out of water.  I realize this is a critical time in her life where she's trying to develop her personality but she is driving me up the wall!  That combined with the recent addition of her two baby sisters, it makes me very sad to admit that we've drifted apart.  So, one of my goals for this project was to improve upon was my relationship with Betsy.  In the past I have tried to make it a point to make Betsy as independent as possible.  I can't stand hearing of these kids going off to college who have no idea how to boil an egg or do their own laundry so I've always encouraged her to do things on her own. She is amazingly smart and sometimes its hard for me to remember that she's JUST 7.  So as I'm picking up all the rooms in the house I decide that from this point forward I'm going to clean her room and make her bed (Pre JC Project, the rule of the house was that each person is responsible for their own room and the making of their bed- which she had been in too much of a rush to do this morning). So here's my thinking on this, if I pick up this additional task, it will free up some of her time, stress (if she has any), and maybe we can use that time to spend together.  So, here I am all excited when we get home from school and I don't think she even noticed. She dropped off her stuff and ran off to play with the neighbor. Ha! oh well. So much for that- we're still a work in progress.  Maybe I'll plan an activity for us to do later. 

What did I take away from the day?
1) I'm exhausted.
2) I'm going to need more gloves and a pair of knee pads if i'm going to clean like this everyday
3) When cleaning in a black dress Wear an apron! I splashed water all over myself doing dishes and then I got cleaner on it when I was mopping. Boo Hiss!
4) My husband is incredibly attentive. He noticed that I dusted his nightstand and cleaned off the dresser! Of course, it'd be hard to not notice the dresser. You couldn't see the top of it before. :)
5) I know I joke but in all seriousness, Ward and all the girls seem more calm and at ease tonight.. Betsy and I even cuddled on the couch for part of a movie! :) Not sure if its the clean house or if its just Friday and everyone is just ready to chill out and relax. But the mood seems different.  It'll be interesting to see if this continues.