30 days!

I did it! I made it through my 30 days as June.  So I did what any proper lady would do to celebrate.  I got up, got dressed in a beautiful A line dress, did my hair and makeup and walked down stairs to fix a hot breakfast.  Bacon- crispy for Ward, soft for Betsy. Eggs- scrambled for Betsy, fried for Ward and then buttered toast served with a glass of sunshine. Can you picture it? Its a beautiful sight isnt it?  Too bad it didn't happen. Well, not all of it anyway.  I did get up and make breakfast as described but my hair closely resembled a bird's nest and I was still in my favorite pajama shirtdress.  So I guess I haven't turned into June after all. 

My goal back when I started this little project was to find out if traditional roles made families happier. What did men want from their wives? Is it still true today?

So what do men want from their wives? I believe that most men do want a woman who will keep the house tidy and look nice when they come home and greet them with a smile and a kiss. Because lets face it ladies.. Who wouldn't?! If you were to come home from a long mentally exhausting day at work wouldn't you love to be greeted at the door by a handsome man, house cleaned, and dinner on the stove? I know I would!  And while I realize that this seems like it may be a male chauvinistic view of what home life should be there's some concrete references to back it up. Don't believe me? Its in the Bible! It says it is the woman's job to make the house into a home.  I'm sure you're thinking, "Well, June- Not all of us can be stay at home moms".  Trust me, I remember how hectic things were when I worked and only had 2 kids.  But if you want to try to make it work, you can.  Pick up things as you go (you'll be amazed at how little you'll actually have to clean if you do a little bit here and there.)  Need a nice sit down meal but low on energy? Get take out from one of your favorite restaurants and plate it up on your dishes for a home cooked feel.  I'm all for shortcuts as long as the same end result is achieved. :)

The quiet, submissive personality, well we know that's just not me. But that's not to say that I'm not quiet and submissive to Ward. I listen to him ( its actually one of the highlights of my day) when he tells me about his day at work or some idea or project he wants to attempt. And the submission, well I think that's just a really outdated word for supporting and respecting him. Both of which I try to show to him each and every day.  Although it might be funny to get his reaction if I suddenly dropped to my knees and bowed down to him.  Ha! Nah, we wouldn't want him getting a big head. ;)

As for the getting dressed up. I have to admit my mom was actually right on that one as well. Yes, my days were much more comfortable when I could wear my pajamas all day with no makeup and my hair in a ponytail. But I feel like the dressing up became more for me than for Ward. When I get dressed in the morning, I feel more motivated to get things done, I feel more confident, and then there's the extra bonus when Ward compliments me on how I look. :)  I think especially when women become mothers, that "mother instinct" takes over and we sometimes forget that we need to do things not just for others but for ourselves.  Its so easy for me to get wrapped up in what needs to be done for the kids, the house, Ward, etc. that sometimes I forget that I'm a woman first before I'm a mom. (does that make sense?) So take the time to get dolled up and flirt with your husband!

And Yes, the long list of chores was a total pain to do on a daily basis while juggling two babies, a 7 year old and a black lab who sheds like a husky in Florida. But I do believe it made a difference- a relaxing effect if you will. Don't get me wrong, it didn't turn our house into the quiet, soft nature sounds, candle light spa type of relaxing (remember, we do have 3 kids) but for Ward and I, being able to sit down at the end of a long day in a clean house erases some of the tensions for us and I believe the children are able to sense that we're calmer and more relaxed, so they become calmer in turn. So is it worth it to keep up? Absolutely. Just probably not in the extent that I was doing it. And I wouldn't dare deprive Ward of his vaccuum lines at the end of a long hard day at the office. :)

So that's it, that's my quick take on how the 30 days have gone. And in my case, our home is happier overall for all the changes that have been made. 

Commercial Break

Do you ever think about those couples who have been married forever, kids are grown and off to college or whatever and they look at their spouse and say "we have nothing in common.. who are you?" Well that is one of my worst fears.

I think Ward and I have a pretty great marriage. Don't get me wrong, we're far from perfect, we make mistakes and we've had our share of ups and downs... But what we've learned in our years of marriage is the importance of making our relationship as a couple a priority.  Sometimes we unconsciously let our relationships take the backseat when life gets busy. And its easy to justify it by thinking, well- I've got a lot of other stuff going on and our relationship is good so I'll just set it in the backseat for now and I'll go back and focus on it when things aren't so busy.  But here's the thing- life is always going to be busy and its up to you and your significant other to make it a priority.  If you don't, you are putting your relationship at risk.  "You don't FIND a great marriage, YOU BUILD ONE!"  But you never see that stuff on tv. I guess the real work happens on the commercial break. So this weekend, Ward and I took a commercial break and went to a marriage conference at our church. 
The conference was entitled IGNITE! and this was our second year to attend. Last year our marriage was a little strained.  We had just had our second daughter and were already pregnant with another.  Ward and I were in our own little worlds- he focused heavily on work and I being pregnant, hormonal  and working focused on everything else.  (And if you've been pregnant or married to a pregnant woman, you know what I mean.)  Anyhow, we drifted apart.  We were happy with our family life, we still loved eachother and wanted to be with eachother, we didn't argue or fight but there began to be an unspoken disconnect between us.  So we decided to sign up for the conference just to see what it was all about. Let me tell you, BEST decision ever! Not only did Ward and I have fun at the conference, but it really did help us understand eachother better and make us closer as a couple.   I am proud to say that we've stayed connected throughout the year and couldn't wait for the conference to come around again this year. Its like adding a little jolt of energy to our marriage :)

So you may be wondering "What do you learn at these conference things?" Well, lots actually, the speakers our church brings in are some of the top speakers in the country about relationships and marriage. And they are wonderful at giving you insight about the opposite sex; what makes them tick; how they think; why they do what they do, and what you as a partner need to do to support them.    And while it was a marriage conference- most of the things I learned didn't just apply to marriages but relationships in general. My relationships with my friends, my children, people in general.  I learned so much that I'm not going to even attempt to tell you all about it in this one post.  Instead, I'm going to do several posts on it as I make "adjustments" in my life and put into practice some of the things I learned.

Here's my favorite quote from this weekend.

"Marriage is two people growing up together. If the two of you are just alike...

One of you is NOT NEEDED." 

 Joe McGee

 (by the way, this guy is HILARIOUS)